"Good dialogue. Jokes could have been funnier. Excellent acting."
"Reasonably well developed character but still feel could spend more time establishing it. Did feel a bit like a ‘stand up’ routine. A slightly disembodied collection of one liners – needs a stronger narrative. Lovely performance from actress."
"Good acting. Comedy timing not brilliant."
"I agree that the character needs to be younger – especially as she has a new born baby."
"Less metaphors, less Alan Bennet. Good acting."
"Amusing."
The Meeting
by Ron Enthwistle
"Needs a lot of work."
"Good acting. Could have been longer."
"Fab!"
"Good writing. Great chemistry."
"Writing – clear and to the point."
Two Good Dicks
by Rob Reeves
"Good / very good."
"Good script. Clever writing."
"I thought it was excellent – very funny. Maybe the husband needs to be a bit less pitiful – needs more aggression rather than being just upset/concerned? Loved the detective’s delivery and the dialogue was fantastic."
"I liked both the script and delivery, especially the detective (second one sat down). Deadpan delivery and really silly and funny."
"Excellent, loved the dicks. Very funny."
"Really funny!!! Enjoyed thoroughly – great script / writing, great acting."
"Very funny! Keep on with it!"
"Original characters. Very funny. Great dialogue. Laughed all the way through."
"I didn’t enjoy this one. It was in bad taste and not even funny (except the sexual innuendo). Can’t see this on TV as it is now – or on radio."
"Excellent premise, though I feel the staging needs work but writing shows potential for development. Would agree with radio comments but need a little contrast in characters and feel needs a sense of danger between ‘the dicks’."
"Very funny but think it might work better as a one off piece rather than a sitcom. Reminds me of something else I have seen on TV – can’t think what!"
"Try Baby Cow Prod’s (Steve Coogan’s company). Great piece. Richard Aoade (IT Crowd) would be great Jake. Keep on trying BBC3 may be worth a try. Good luck!"
Observations
by Alfie Jones
"Good characters and dialogue."
"Predictable comedy."
"Very good. Flowed nice. Never got boring. Two nice characters."
"Needs a lot of work."
Cleo’s Tail
by Fiona Maher
"Excellent."
"Very good. Never guessed she was a cat."
"The monologue is so hard to do without proper preparation... Needs light and shade, didn’t really empathise with character and could not see the mental process."
"Nice twist in the tale at the end. Very nice story – very well told. Great short story, written or performed."
"Caught in a fire? Car crash? Bitterness. OK just OK."